‚ÄčAn Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life in America. Live from New York.

An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life New York City.

Global Dickbaggery.

Since arriving, I have strived to at all times be considerate of the differences in this culture: I have attempted not to judge the habits and social nuances of the Chinese people against my own Australian/Western habits and nuances.

My immersive experience in the Chinese/Beijing culture has been enlightening, and it has led me to my first true insight since arriving here: a dickhole is a dickhole in any culture.

To make sure you maintain a solid global reputation, here is a run down of international dickhole moves:

  • Smashing into people on bikes with your car and driving off: Dickhole
  • Spitting* in an elevator full of people in a modern, nice office building, or into the aisle on a plane to Shanghai: Dickhole
  • Turning your head to cough (unprotected) into someones open mouth: Dickhole
  • Stealing taxis at the airport when I’ve ALREADY GOT MY LUGGAGE IN THE BOOT: Dickhole (also, this led to me punching my first Chinese man)
  • Not holding the door open for someone who is juggling a bike, groceries and a backpack (or even barging through as you are trying to move through the same space): MASSIVE DICKHOLE

*Caveat: I have adapted to the very Chinese habit of spitting: but seriously, in an elevator? FUCK YOU, DICKHOLE.