Global Dickbaggery.

Since arriving, I have strived to at all times be considerate of the differences in this culture: I have attempted not to judge the habits and social nuances of the Chinese people against my own Australian/Western habits and nuances.

My immersive experience in the Chinese/Beijing culture has been enlightening, and it has led me to my first true insight since arriving here: a dickhole is a dickhole in any culture.

To make sure you maintain a solid global reputation, here is a run down of international dickhole moves:

• Smashing into people on bikes with your car and driving off: Dickhole
• Spitting* in an elevator full of people in a modern, nice office building, or into the aisle on a plane to Shanghai: Dickhole
• Turning your head to cough (unprotected) into someones open mouth: Dickhole
• Stealing taxis at the airport when I’ve ALREADY GOT MY LUGGAGE IN THE BOOT: Dickhole (also, this led to me punching my first Chinese man)
• Not holding the door open for someone who is juggling a bike, groceries and a backpack (or even barging through as you are trying to move through the same space): MASSIVE DICKHOLE

*Caveat: I have adapted to the very Chinese habit of spitting: but seriously, in an elevator? FUCK YOU, DICKHOLE.