‚ÄčAn Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life in America. Live from New York.

An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life New York City.

It's like they're speaking Chinese.

Living in a country and not speaking the native tongue can be, frankly, fucking annoying. However, there are two ways to handle it.

First: act like a massive dickbag. Be the guy who unsarcastically screams ‘Why don’t you speak english?!?!?!” at a Chinese person IN CHINA. More accurately, the the guy who would probably scream ‘WHY DON’T YOU SPEAK AMERICAN?!?!?!” If I’m honest, I can understand the frustration that leads to this kind of outburst: I’ve felt the hot flush of annoyance a couple of times (mostly because you will ask people ‘Do you speak english?’, they will say ‘Yes’, you will explain something, and then they’ll just walk off, because really, they don’t speak english at all).

Second: remember that YOU ARE IN CHINA. This is their country, and YOU don’t speak Chinese. This can be hard to hold on to when you want to break everything in a hotel lobby, or a Chinese gym, or a 7-11 out of blinding, white hot anger.

But with most things, smiling is the key. And being really, really good at miming. If this brand experience thing doesn’t work out, I’m probably the world’s best Charade player by now.