Scrambler

​An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life in America. Live from New York.

An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life New York City.

Hellbeast. Fucking hellbeast.

I just my first royal dicking in China (in terms of being dicked around…I can see how that could be taken out of context). My shitty landlady has reneged on a verbal agreement 1 day before I move house.

So it turns out that in China, you pay your rent quarterly. When you move in, you pay 3 months rent plus another months rent as a deposit - 4 months rent upfront. I did not know this, and did not have this kind of cash.

I (thought I) struck a deal to pay one months rent, plus one months deposit now (half the amount owed), and then pay the remaining 2 months rent in a month when I get my first full paycheck. I have already paid this amount to her (aka 2 months rent)- and she calls me and says that if I don’t pay the FULL AMOUNT, she’ll keep my deposit and give the apartment to someone else.

Here’s the best part - I challenge her politely, saying it’s unfair and illegal, and asking her for empathy.

She literally says ‘Come and chase me in court then.’ So now i have to live broke for a month so this fuckwit woman can have her money now, instead of in 2 weeks.

FUCK YOU, LANDLADY. GET ATTACKED BY NINJAS AND BLEED OUT SLOWLY IN THE GUTTER.

The lesson here? If you move to China, figure out roughly how much rent you want to pay, and then bring 4 months worth. And expect a fucktard as a landlord/lady (apparently, this isn’t rare).

Pictured: Beijing Landlord (Artist’s Rendering)