Scrambler

​An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life in America. Live from New York.

An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life New York City.

The Awesomeness of Jet Lag.

There is a savage indulgence to jet lag, when suffered under the right circumstances. I arrived from Chicago back to Shanghai this afternoon, and with no sleep in roughly a day and a half, I had the choice made: stay awake til 11pm (it’s currently 22:17), then crash out.

Step One: exercise hard. My rule is go and push yourself as soon as you get to your hotel. It kills an hour of the day, it pushes out the aches and pains of the long haul flight, and it stacks you with endorphins to fuel your hilarious state.

Step Two: get outside. Hobos aside, it’s generally quite hard to fall asleep when you aren’t near a bed or beach. So hit the bricks, champ. Also: coffee. This adds to the fun.

Step Three: inject alcohol at the appropriate point (note: do not actuallyinjectalcohol: merely take it into your system the normal way). This is usually late afternoon/early evening.

Step Four: Enjoy the feeling. You are beyond tired, a little buzzed, and zoned all the way out. Best bit? Strange yet nonthreatening hallucination can take place at this point. I saw a man sized dog walking around today in my peripheral vision. Just casually walking, a six foot, lopsided, hairy-as-fuck dog. I lazily turned: just some guy. But i know what i saw.

Step Five: the final push. 10pm - 11pm is the hard bit, but again, enjoy it. Savor the thought of bed. Sit and stare at it. Imagine the sheets. Imagine the soft firmness of the pillow. Indulge in your soon-to-be resting place. Maybe watch some Chinese TV without subtitles, or have a long shower.

Step Six: appropriate bed time. Revel in the sense of accomplishment for 4 seconds before you pass out.

BOOM.