A harder road.
You don’t feel like yourself. So who do you feel like? Who do you want to be?
Do you want to be the guy who snaps at other people when he’s stressed?
Do you want to be the guy who takes his frustrations out on those around him?
Or the guy who sucks it up, deals with adversity calmly, and holds it together?
You look for excuses.
Because it’s hot. Because you don’t feel a hundred per cent. Because you had a shitty day/week. Because you’re tired. Because it’s lonely being alone. Because you don’t speak the language. Because…you grasp, your mind is blank, there is nothing there.
It’s easy to find the excuses (remove ‘because’ from the sentence fragments above). It’s easy to let the words drip off your tongue, let the tone shift, let the anger rise. It’s easy to snap, to lash out, to be wrong, to be stupid, to hurt and not be there.
It’s a lot harder to be calm. To be the support they need. To be the person they can lean on, come to for help, come to for kindness, come to to talk. That’s harder.
And that’s not what you’ve always known. But it is what you want to be.
The hard road it is, then.