Scrambler

​An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life in America. Live from New York.

An Australian Creative Director and Strategist fumbles through life New York City.

You're fine until...

You’re doing so well! You haven’t thought about them for ages, and you’ve begun whole heartedly moving forward. Everything is ticking along nicely, and life is good. You’ve moved on, you’ve moved forwards and you smile all the time. You’re a happy camper, in a new chapter. You no longer even notice you don’t think about them, you just…don’t.

But then you drop your guard. You let your eyes wander, and you stumble across them. They appear when you least expect it. It takes a second to register. Your smile drops. BAM. You were unprepared.

And then you get that horrible hot-all-over feeling, like your skin is a little bit tight, followed by a weirder feeling behind the eyes, and a sinking stomach. You feel confused as nostalgia mixes with remorse, sadness, anger and a dozen other emotions at once. You realise maybe you’ve been tricking yourself. Maybe you’re not over it, and you never will be. You panic. You worry. You fear.

And then you breath in, and realise that you’re OK. You realise you miss a romanticized version of something that you don’t have, and truth be told, don’t want. You cannot be on guard all the time, and the truth is, you don’t need to be. Because the next time you get caught out you’ll be further away, older and a little bit better prepared. And the time after that, it’ll have faded further. And so on and so on.

You’ll always react, but the recovery time has shortened dramatically, and will continue to do so.

You breath again. You smile. You move on.