The Typhoon Hits - A Scrambler Live Blog Exclusive.
CODE ORANGE people! We are at code orange, which is the 2nd highest threat level to the city. Needless to say, there must be a vast amount of space to Code Red, considering today's typhoon is basically just a really, really rainy day. But any excuse for a live blog, right?!?!?!
7.20am - Receive text from the boss man confirming CODE ORANGE. Told not to come to work. Immediately set alarm for 8am and go back to sleep.
8.00am - Alarm goes off, immediately turn off.
10.00am - Time for work! Get up, make coffee, check email, finish small task, all in underpants. Strongly consider starting own business.
10.15am - Move computer into spare room/home office, in order to feel productive. Read entire newspaper online.
10.20am - Open power bill. Immediately regret not still living in Beijing, where power was hilariously cheap. Complain online to friend, find out how expensive power is in Australia. OVER THE TOP EXPENSIVE. Love this place.
11.00am - Watch an hour of Community, while keeping an eye on emails and weather radar. Yep, the radar confirms it is definitely raining, verifying what my eyes and ears have been telling me. Take picture.
11.30am - CODE RED!!! WE ARE AT CODE RED!!
12.30pm - Do washing up while dancing around apartment listening to Robyn's "Call Your Girlfriend". Decide that yes, this song is awesome, but that Robyn (in the song) is a huge bitch. Seriously, how callously does she call for the dumping of the girlfriend? "And then you let her down easy?" Seems like you let her down in the most painful possible way. "I met someone else. She's in, your out. I don't care that we love each other - we are done here. I'M OVER YOU WITHOUT WARNING. I really like you nail polish. Don't worry, we'll still be friends when you eventually recover from this devastation." Cold, Robyn. Ice cold.
12.35pm - Listen to Robyn's "Dancing on my Own". Realise I am ACTUALLY DANCING ON MY OWN. Feel lame, continue dancing. This song is a massive dance track, but when performed acoustically, it is extremely sad. I know how you feel, Robyn. I'm not the girl he's taking home either (this made more sense in my head).
12.50pm - Boredom hits. Time to go to the gym. Which means bike riding through the typhoon. I feel hugely badass. WHERE'S MY BRIGHT RED PONCHO???
2.33pm - WOW. Tick THAT off the bucket list! Riding in a typhoon is more hectic than I gave it credit for - rain moving so fast it stings your face. 8 kilometre run, then a milkshake and muffin to under all my good work. WOOT.
2.40pm - Now watching Contagion. I've seen it before, and I recall being underwhelmed. After watching the first few minutes, I never want to go near a coughing person again. Or fly. Or go to Hong Kong (which sucks, because I love HK). Or watch Gwyneth Paltrow. She's the worst. And as the face of Coach bags, she is fucking EVERYWHERE in luxury obsessed China. Urgh. Also, Jude Law is doing a terrible accent. Why Jude? You're the new Alfie!!
2.45pm - Holy SHITBALLS. It is raining like crazy outside. Visibility is about 2 metres, and I am mildly concerned, which is a new sensation after being lightly amused by the weather all day. Yowzer.
2.50pm - How much Berocca is too much Berocca? I've had three today, and I feel FUCKING INVINCIBLE. I want to punch the typhoon in the growler.
3.00pm - Autopsy on Gwyneth...THEY JUST SAWED HER EFFING SCALP OFF!! How do I not remember this bit?
4.25pm - I have a confession: this typhoon would have been more fun shared with someone else. You rarely get a day of complete laziness at home, and it's just not as much fun when you are alone.
4.40pm - Off to Adam and Kelly's. Need company. See previous post. Loneliness is no fun.
5.05pm - Couldn't get a cab, subway flooded. Massive bummer, boredom and loneliness are gangbanging me. GROSS.
5.21pm - LIFELINE!! Kelly is in a cab, coming to pick me up for a sleepover! Midweek sleepover with Kelly, Adam and their girls = hilarity guaranteed. Adam just updated me on the situation in their day long Monopoly (Hong Kong) game, and I must now ready myself to enter the fray. He also informed me that there is plenty of booze. Here comes the sun.
6.25pm - Snickers Ice Cream, Beer, Pimms & Dry, and my family of lunatics. Welcome home! SUCK IT TYPHOON!!!