Full disclosure: I feel sick at the idea of leaving. I have a massive knot in my chest, simply because leaving to head home to China has never felt so terrifying. I've always headed back elated by my time at home; this time I feel oddly like I'm running away, moving from the place I want to be to the place I have to be (for now).
It's important to remember the good bits, because there were heaps and heaps of them.
Melbourne had more than it's fair share of moments. Going running together; going to the movies, eating like kings (THE CHEESES!), drinking great wine and giggling at nothing and everything. I was given the single most awesome item of clothing I've ever owned, and I was happy to see the presents I gave her were to her style and taste (even though the thing she treasured most was a crappy old beanie).
Working with old friends in Melbourne and Sydney reinforced how lucky I am to have the career I do, backed up by some of the most interesting and fantastic people I've ever known.
Seeing my friends was great (as always), but it also reminded me why I struggle to meet folks overseas: the bar is set too high. I can't possibly expect to meet people of this standard regularly, and this was reinforced by two separate occasions where new people to our circle said to me 'Where did you find these guys?' But in a good way.
My family were/are amazing. Hugs and advice from mum, laughter with my sister, chats with my Nanna: it's hardest to walk away from these people.
Shit. This got sentimental FAST. I don't want to leave at all. But I will. We always do what we gotta do. And right now, sadly, there is no real reason to stay. Back into work, back into distraction. There's only one thing left to say.